Quote of the Day
Mood:  spacey

"I'm beside myself. Look, I'm over there." -- Rob Graham

I overheard that one completely out of context and it still made me chuckle.

A friend of mine had this on her blog and I just had to steal it and switch it up to fit me...

20 years ago I... (1985)
1. was almost a year old.
2. loved Big Bird and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
3. was the world's biggest daddy's girl

10 years ago I... (1995)
1. became "blood sisters" with my best friend
2. read every Babysitter's Club book ever written
3. graduated from 5th grade

5 years ago I... (2000)
1. turned sixteen and learned to drive
2. sang a solo in the school musical (badly ;))
3. kissed a boy for the first time

3 years ago I... (2002)
1. went to Virginia Tech, and dropped out six weeks later
2. stopped speaking to my family
3. moved in with my boyfriend and began my adult life

1 year ago I... (2004)
1. bought my first car
2. started going to school again
3. felt like I made the right decisions in my life, then didnt, then did again.

So far this year I... (2005)
1. took a huge jump in my career
2. have done pretty much nothing else but work and stress myself out
3. worked some more

Yesterday I...
1. spent most of the day after work helping John with On The Job
2. took a nap and woke up cranky
3. had a few Kahluas and a "romantic" evening with my hubby.

Today I...
1. went shopping (grocery and otherwise)
2. started watching the first season of Deadwood IN ORDER
3. realized I was pushing away my true friends and hanging on too tightly to the ones who don't give a damn about me.

Sick
Mood:  don't ask
I feel sick today. I was fine when I got up this morning and fine all through work, but when I got up from my nap this afternoon (around 12:30) I felt sick sick sick.

I've thrown up three times now in the past 4 hours... and I still feel like Im on a boat. I couldnt even keep down a half bowl of cereal. (I thought maybe I felt ill because I was hungry... that happens sometimes).

I dont know what it could be. I suppose it could have been the cinnamon roll I had for breakfast this morning at 6AM. That was the last thing I ate (and kept down). But, I cant imagine I would eat it and then feel fine for 6 hours before getting sick.

Blah, its a mystery...

Anywho, I've GOT to get myself to school today, so I'm gonna brush my teeth, take a few more tums, and hope for the best. Ugh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

To my far away pal, happy birthday.
(I actually took this down in anger a few days ago, but it belongs here so Im putting it back.)

Octogenarian Bar
Mood:  smelly
Today, being the second Tuesday of the month, is VFW night. So, I spent my evening with Charlie having dinner at the VFW. I enjoy spending time with him, as he's kind of like my adopted parent... or maybe an adopted uncle. Its amazing though, how any of those people have lived to be as old as they have. Nearly everyone there chain smokes and smokes the smelliest, strongest, nastiest cigarettes there are. I guess they figure they've survived a war or two, whats a little cancer? But MAN! I stink like cigarette smoke. That stuff irritates my eyes and my throat too, and gives me a bit of a headache.

Peew!

In other news, Hugh whacked me in the head with a sake bottle today (one of the 2 litre ones). I have a bump and a sore spot right in the middle of my forehead. I handed it to him base-first and, as I went down to get another one from the wine box, he came up with it and ++BAM++ ... cracked my skull wide open. Hit me with the metal, screw-on cap too.

But, all is well. It's nothing a few drugs won't clear right up.

Nighty-night and ta ta for now!

I Should Have Told Him
Mood:  blue
I hurt John's feelings today. I made a joke at his expense. It was wrong, and I didn't mean anything by it. None the less, it hurt his feelings. I've said "I'm sorry," but it doesn't help. And it shouldn't help. "I'm sorry" is a useless phrase... it dosen't express how we really feel.

I should have told him how beautiful I think he is. I should have told him how, even when things aren't going quite right for us, he's my favorite person. I should have told him how he brings me out of myself and makes me feel like I can show that to the world.

I should have told him how sad I was when I said, "I love you," and he said "OK."

Gimme Shelter
I had the strangest dream last night that Brittany's dad had died. He just croaked one morning while eating breakfast and hit his head on the glass of orange juice on the way down.
It was creepy and I woke up with shivers.

STRESS!!!
Mood:  hug me

It sucks. And lately, my life seems to be full of it. Work is driving me crazy... there just seems to be more and more to do and more and more to be worried about and its getting in the way of school, or school is getting in the way of work...
Either way, I cant keep doing both, its driving me crazy and my schoolwork is suffering for it. Not to mention my life at home... Im so stressed out and I hardly see John anymore and when I do, Im cranky and mean because Im not sleeping enough or Im worried about work and I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Im going to finish out the semester, and then Im going to focus on getting ready for the new store in July. Ill go back to school in the fall, just like a regular college student.

Until then, I'm just going to have to gaze upon this beautiful picture of boy love... ah, so beautiful...
I love love.

Brittany's Little Survey Thingy
I decided that, rather than emailing all of you this gigantic email, Ill post it and send you the link. (Plus, it gets a little traffic to my blog :))

my name is]: Meghan

[I live]: w/ My boyfriend, John and my kitty cat, Noobie

[in the morning I am]: At work by 4:30 AM (4, starting next week).

[love is]: Knowing that somewhere in the world is another person that you care about, and that cares about you in return. Its wanting to help make that person's life the best and most fulfilling it can be.

[I dream about]: A little bit of anything and everything. A whole bunch of stuff I dont remember.

-With The Opposite Sex-

[what do you notice first?]: Physically?: The way they carry themselves, a smile maybe.

[wins your heart over]: On a first impression: just taking the time to stop and say hello, and be friendly and courteous. Long term: about the same, on a grander scale. With John, my heart's pretty much won, but sometimes he surprises me and makes me fall in love with him all over.

[last person u slow danced with]: Oh, geez... I guess John at Senior Prom... a LONG TIME AGO.

[just being together or being “busy” together]: just being together is nice, but sometimes its nice to go out on a "date." When you live together, you dont get to date much anymore.

-Who-

[do you have a crush on?]: well John, in a real sense... though I do like looking at Randy Orton (see bottom). What can I say? I love muscles.

[easiest to talk to]: I guess John. I dont really get to talk to much of anyone else close to me anymore and I rarely ever discuss personal issues at work.

[best friend]: Brittany and John. B's been my best friend since I was 6 years old. I love her just as much (if not more) as I love my own sister. I would also like to note that I didnt make her best friend list... so SCREW YOU!!! (ha!)

[can you NOT trust]: The list of people that I CAN trust is very small. Otherwise, I dont trust anyone. I like to make sure things get done myself. Its a good quality, I suppose, for the kind of work I do... which is verifying that Harris Teeter is getting exactly what they pay for. Some vendors try to get sneaky.

[spend all your time with]: All my free time? John and Noobie. All my work time? Sara and Geneva (the two REAL vendor receivers that are training me.)

[lose track of time with]: Im pretty good about that. Though, on the rare occasions I get to see Brittany, the time flies by and Im almost always home mcuh later than I said I would be.

-Have You Ever...?- [fallen for your best friend]: Brit? NO. John wasnt my best friend until after I fell for him. Go figure.

[cried because of love]: I think that actually might be a requirement.

[screamed at your parents]: that may be an understatement.

-Who Was The Last Person That...-

[you talked to on the phone]: John, before he came home from work.

[hugged]: John, again.

[you instant messaged]: Brittany. last night. And Tegan, who wouldnt talk to me :(

[you laughed with]: Maybe John, or S and G at lunch yesterday.

[you cried with]: The last time I cried, I was alone. (Mostly cause I knew I was crying over something stupid).

[went out to eat with]: Sara and Geneva from work

-Just Some Stuff-

[could you live without the computer]: I had to for a little while, but it sucks and I wouldnt want to

[what's your favorite food]: I like a little bit of everything. Ive even retried bacon as an adult and (I dont really like it, but I think its edible now)

[what’s your favorite fruit]: strawberries

[what hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain]: emotional, because it takes so much more time to heal than physical

[trust others way too easily]: Some people, yes.

-N U M B E R-

[of times I have had my heart broken]: a few

[of hearts I have broken]: I don't know... no one has told me.

[of boys I have kissed]: two. That seems like such a small number...

[of girls I have kissed]: none

[of drugs taken illegally]: I drink underage, but thats as close as Ive come.

[of close friends]: just enough

[of CD's that I own]: me, not a whole lot. But if you look at mine and John's together, quite a few.

[of scars on my body]: a couple, one big one.

[of things in my past that I regret]: I like where my life is now, so I dont look back at the way things were with regret. I know if I had done anything diferently, I wouldnt be here.

-Other Things-

[I know]: A lot of things, but not everything

[I want]: A lot of things. I want to be a great person, with a great job that I love, Id love to be a great mother someday.

[I have]: all that i need

[I wish]: things would work out the way I want them to RIGHT NOW

[I hate]: too much for my own good.

[I miss]: my family, my old friends from high school, and probably a few other things.

[I fear]: dying alone, having accomplished nothing.

[I hear]: the buzz of the fan and John's heavy sleep-breathing

[I search]: "for something new to add to my list of things to do before i die" (I like that, so Im keeping it).

[I love]: John, Noobie, my friends and family (even though I dont get to see them as much anymore)

[I ache]: in my back and feet after work sometimes. But its a good ache... like I know I worked hard cause it hurts ache.

[I care]: about the people close to me.

[I always]: do goofy stuff that gets my ass in trouble

[I dance]: when Im home alone and have the radio on. :)

[I cry]: way too much still, i'm a weepy kinda girl (Ive been getting better though!)

[I do not always]: say the right things at the right time.

[I write]: in this damn thing now~

[I confuse]: myself way more than I should.

[I can usually be found]: at Harris Teeter or at home (check Teeter first)

[I need]: to get my ass up and get moving today.

[have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing]: Like strip poker?? No, thats silly.

[if so, when and with who]:

[favorite place to be kissed]: my neck, and under my ear

[have you ever been caught “doing something”]: have I been walked in on? No. But Im pretty sure my parents knew when something was finally up.

[druggie]: no

[gang member]: haha, no

[daydreamer]: oh goodness yes

[alcoholic]: no

[freak]:oh yes!!

[brat]: at times

[sarcastic]: no, not at all... why would you say such a thing?!?

[goody-goody]: sometimes

[angel]: if you wanna call me that, go right ahead

[devil]: if you wanna call me that, go right ahead

[friend]: I can be

[shy]: at times, but Ive gotten much better. I used to not want to ask for ketchup at McDonalds.

[talkative]: I can be that too, when Im in the mood.


[adventurous]: I'd like to be more so

[intelligent]: I'd like to think so, but I know my common sense can be a bit lacking.

-Concerning The Friends-

[wish you saw more often]: Brittany, Julia, Tegan . . .

[wish you could meet]: I dont have any friends I haven't met.

[most sarcastic]: we're all pretty good at being sarcastic

[wish you knew better]: the girls at work.

[knows you best]: John knows me inside and out

-Self-Analysis You Probably Don't Want To Do-

[your best feature]: The whole package ;)

[your biggest flaw]: stubborn pride

[most annoying thing you do]: I cry when i'm mad

[biggest mistake you've made this far]: Ive made a few in my life, but I dont regret them

[describe your personality in one word]: quirky

[the physical feature for which you are most often complimented]: my butt and legs (they are very long, but I dont usually do much to bring that out)

[person you regret sleeping with]: I've slept wiht one person and if I regretted it, I wouldnt still be doing it

[height]: five foot seven

[a smell that makes you smile]: chocolate, or a yummy candle

[a city you'd like to visit]: L.A.

[a drink you order most often]: diet whatever

[a delicious dessert]: chocolate and strawberries ooh ooh or Ice Cream

[a book you highly recommend]: anything by John Irving, also Anne Rice's Memnoch the Devil was awesome

[the music you prefer while alone]: rock and pop

[your favorite band]: I dunno, I used to LOVE Cheap Trick, and I still do, but most of the music I listen to now is all single people and not bands.

[a film you could watch over and over]: Kill Bill, Reservoir Dogs

[a TV show you watch regularly]: Buffy and Angel on DVD and anything on Food Network or HGTV

[your transportation]: red 2002 Hyundai Accent ( I LOVE MY CAR )

[your cologne or perfume]: I dont wear perfume often, my soap and deoderant suit me just fine

[under your bed or in your closet you hide]: I dont really hide anythign, the closet is so full of my regular stuff

[something important on your night table]: My alarm clock (now my early-morning best friend), my piggy bank (which isnt a pig, but an old P.O. Box) and a framed picture of John as a little kid (SO cute!)

Everybody is Dying on Me!!!
A little memorial to all the people who have finally decided this week to leave us alone:
(Yes, I know Im going straight to hell).