Goodbye Wayne
Mood:  sad
The janitor at my work lost his job today. That makes me sad... a little bit anyway.
You see, I cant feel TOO bad for him, because he did bring it on himself. On the other hand, I dont know what is going to happen to him or where he is going to go. How will he eat? Where will he live? Im pretty sure he was living at a motel, so I doubt he has but a few days to find another home.
Wayne was a good guy, really. He busted ass when he came to work and was very nice and always fun to be around. Wayne also had some demons on his back.
He's an alcoholic, for one. He's also addicted to LOTTO, so he has no savings. I'm pretty sure its the booze that got to him. He's just been falling off the wagon lately... not showing up for work and such. Its been going on for a few months now. He'll have one or two good weeks and then no call/no show a few days. After he didnt show up yesterday we all pretty much knew he was a goner, but no one was ready to believe they would fire him. I mean, no one else in the world would be willing to do his job. That man scrubbed EVERYTHING in the store, even things I didnt know were there.

I hope this serves as a wake-up call for him to get his life straightened out. I hope he gets another job soon and doesnt have to be homeless. I hope he's going to be okay. No, scratch that...

... I really hope he's going to be okay.

Steady at 3.5
Mood:  cheeky
Well, another crazy semester has ended, and finally SUMMER BEGINS! After fifteen weeks of doing the absolute least to get by, I've pulled off a semester GPA of 3.5 (1 A, 1 B) which leads me to a cumulative GPA of... you guessed it... 3.5 (2 As, 2 Bs). I would like to bring that up just a skosh, but for the amount that I was actually IN class this semester, and the amount of effort I actually put in, I did way better than I acctually deserved to.

(This is a guinea pig named Skosh).

So why haven't I written anything in two weeks? To be honest, I havent had anything to write about. I mean, plenty has been going on, but I have felt like its either too boring or stuff that I dont think would show me in a particularly good light. It seems as though every time over the past few weeks that I have had something noteworthy to say, its only because Im cranky or stressed or frustrated or angry... and that seems to come across a lot on here. I am really not such a whiny person (I dont think) nor do I really have that much to complain about, but nonetheless, complaining seems to be the majority of what I do on here. I suppose its because when Im feeling good, I dont know exactly how to write about that. I only write when I've got something that I want to CHANGE.
Im trying to get away from that.
I've bought a new pair of shorts for work and WHEE! I finally get to wear them. It has been absolutely beautiful lately, and Im excited about being able to get a little comfy and show a little skin. Of course, that skin happens to look like a plucked chicken, as it hasnt seen the sun in YEARS, but its skin either way and Im excited. (Pick on my shade of white...er... translucent... all you want guys! I know you wouldnt tease me if you didnt like it so HA!)
I've gotten my share of teasing because Im downright pasty, but I dish a lot of it, so I can take a little (*but just a little...:) ).

Quote of the Day
Mood:  spacey

"I'm beside myself. Look, I'm over there." -- Rob Graham

I overheard that one completely out of context and it still made me chuckle.

A friend of mine had this on her blog and I just had to steal it and switch it up to fit me...

20 years ago I... (1985)
1. was almost a year old.
2. loved Big Bird and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
3. was the world's biggest daddy's girl

10 years ago I... (1995)
1. became "blood sisters" with my best friend
2. read every Babysitter's Club book ever written
3. graduated from 5th grade

5 years ago I... (2000)
1. turned sixteen and learned to drive
2. sang a solo in the school musical (badly ;))
3. kissed a boy for the first time

3 years ago I... (2002)
1. went to Virginia Tech, and dropped out six weeks later
2. stopped speaking to my family
3. moved in with my boyfriend and began my adult life

1 year ago I... (2004)
1. bought my first car
2. started going to school again
3. felt like I made the right decisions in my life, then didnt, then did again.

So far this year I... (2005)
1. took a huge jump in my career
2. have done pretty much nothing else but work and stress myself out
3. worked some more

Yesterday I...
1. spent most of the day after work helping John with On The Job
2. took a nap and woke up cranky
3. had a few Kahluas and a "romantic" evening with my hubby.

Today I...
1. went shopping (grocery and otherwise)
2. started watching the first season of Deadwood IN ORDER
3. realized I was pushing away my true friends and hanging on too tightly to the ones who don't give a damn about me.

Sick
Mood:  don't ask
I feel sick today. I was fine when I got up this morning and fine all through work, but when I got up from my nap this afternoon (around 12:30) I felt sick sick sick.

I've thrown up three times now in the past 4 hours... and I still feel like Im on a boat. I couldnt even keep down a half bowl of cereal. (I thought maybe I felt ill because I was hungry... that happens sometimes).

I dont know what it could be. I suppose it could have been the cinnamon roll I had for breakfast this morning at 6AM. That was the last thing I ate (and kept down). But, I cant imagine I would eat it and then feel fine for 6 hours before getting sick.

Blah, its a mystery...

Anywho, I've GOT to get myself to school today, so I'm gonna brush my teeth, take a few more tums, and hope for the best. Ugh.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

To my far away pal, happy birthday.
(I actually took this down in anger a few days ago, but it belongs here so Im putting it back.)

Octogenarian Bar
Mood:  smelly
Today, being the second Tuesday of the month, is VFW night. So, I spent my evening with Charlie having dinner at the VFW. I enjoy spending time with him, as he's kind of like my adopted parent... or maybe an adopted uncle. Its amazing though, how any of those people have lived to be as old as they have. Nearly everyone there chain smokes and smokes the smelliest, strongest, nastiest cigarettes there are. I guess they figure they've survived a war or two, whats a little cancer? But MAN! I stink like cigarette smoke. That stuff irritates my eyes and my throat too, and gives me a bit of a headache.

Peew!

In other news, Hugh whacked me in the head with a sake bottle today (one of the 2 litre ones). I have a bump and a sore spot right in the middle of my forehead. I handed it to him base-first and, as I went down to get another one from the wine box, he came up with it and ++BAM++ ... cracked my skull wide open. Hit me with the metal, screw-on cap too.

But, all is well. It's nothing a few drugs won't clear right up.

Nighty-night and ta ta for now!

I Should Have Told Him
Mood:  blue
I hurt John's feelings today. I made a joke at his expense. It was wrong, and I didn't mean anything by it. None the less, it hurt his feelings. I've said "I'm sorry," but it doesn't help. And it shouldn't help. "I'm sorry" is a useless phrase... it dosen't express how we really feel.

I should have told him how beautiful I think he is. I should have told him how, even when things aren't going quite right for us, he's my favorite person. I should have told him how he brings me out of myself and makes me feel like I can show that to the world.

I should have told him how sad I was when I said, "I love you," and he said "OK."

Gimme Shelter
I had the strangest dream last night that Brittany's dad had died. He just croaked one morning while eating breakfast and hit his head on the glass of orange juice on the way down.
It was creepy and I woke up with shivers.

STRESS!!!
Mood:  hug me

It sucks. And lately, my life seems to be full of it. Work is driving me crazy... there just seems to be more and more to do and more and more to be worried about and its getting in the way of school, or school is getting in the way of work...
Either way, I cant keep doing both, its driving me crazy and my schoolwork is suffering for it. Not to mention my life at home... Im so stressed out and I hardly see John anymore and when I do, Im cranky and mean because Im not sleeping enough or Im worried about work and I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Im going to finish out the semester, and then Im going to focus on getting ready for the new store in July. Ill go back to school in the fall, just like a regular college student.

Until then, I'm just going to have to gaze upon this beautiful picture of boy love... ah, so beautiful...
I love love.